Archive | May, 2012

2 weeks to go!

15 May

Hi baby C,

We are so close to meeting you now.  My due date is May 29, or possibly May 25 if the last ultrasound was a more accurate predictor.  I’m going to get another ultrasound in 2 days to find out how big you are and if I need to have you sooner rather than later.  I am hoping labor starts naturally within the next week or two.  It will be great to be done with the aches & pains of pregnancy and finally get what this has all been for – you!  I switched to a different obstetrician last week due to a bad experience at the practice I had been attending.  Being pregnant has put me in a vulnerable place and unfortunately a doctor hurt your mom during an exam.  Thankfully your dad is well connected in the medical community.  He called a friend who got me in to see a different obstetrician so that I do not have to risk being delivered by the physician who hurt me.  I wish I could tell you that the pregnancy has been nothing but smiles and dreams.  As with everything in life it has had its highs and lows. 

A recent high point – one of Steven’s coworkers threw a baby shower for us last weekend.  You received so many presents from people who are excited about your arrival.  You are very blessed with so many gifts.  Your needs of food, shelter, medical attention and clothing will be taken care of.  You have two healthy parents who adore you and will make every effort to do what is best for you.  You have extended family members who will care for you as well.  Your genes will give you the gift of intelligence and emotional intelligence.  Your parents’  education and income will provide opportunities and perspectives that most children in this world will never see.  No matter what you do, God will always unconditionally love you.  You have so many blessings to be grateful for, baby C. Image

I am very grateful that I graduated with a Master of Arts in clinical mental health counseling just over a week ago.  Over the past year I have spent 900 hours counseling people who had difficult lives.  They did not have as many blessings as you do, baby C.  Many of them only had one parent, some had parents who abused them or guardians who stole from them.  Some of the clients are rejected by most people because they are different; such as the people I saw who are transgendered.  Some clients have had more blessings, but had trouble making sense of life and got caught up in negative thinking.  No matter what their experience, I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to lend a caring ear to the people I saw during internship this past year.  It seems God is calling me to this line of work.  Some day you will find your calling too, but make sure you listen!  I started out as a TV journalist for selfish reasons.  I did not ask God for guidance when I decided to become a news reporter.  That was a mistake!  At least it led me to meet your dad in Rockford. Image

Back to today – I had a non-stress test and the doctor said everything is going fine for you.  Your heartbeat, movements, neurological responses, and my contractions are all within normal range.  The new doctor will be away on the weekends surrounding your due date.  He wants to induce labor when he’s here but I would rather wait for labor to happen naturally (because the medicine they use to induce labor makes it become very painful very fast!)  He’s going to check to see how things are progressing on Thursday and we’ll talk more about when it looks like you’ll be coming then.  He was not pleased with my preferences to have a natural birth without unneccessary interventions, but oh well! 

You may know by now that your mom prefers to have control over her life.  There are many things I cannot control, but I am pretty resistant to other people trying to control me.  Your birth is too important to me to go along with someone’s suggestion just because they say so.  I want to make sure that I do not get unneccessary interventions that put you or me at greater risk for complications.  I am also trying to avoid interventions that will interfere with our bonding after birth or cause me extra pain.  So we’ll see how it goes.  It would have been nice to have found an obstetrician who shares my views on avoiding unneccesary interventions, but as long as you get here unharmed and I get through the delivery without permanent injuries I will be content.  I am very excited to have you here to hold in my arms and start our life as a new family.  To meet you and be your mom will be the greatest gift of all.